... the calm stares and the restless nights I had after them.
... not knowing really when things would just pop up and I would have to well wake up by "force".
... the fresh bruises that would settle in my dark skin and become so purple that they were a sweet and pretty hint of blue but I also remember them hurting.
.. the night I went into the woods because my stomach hurt so bad and I was aching, I hurt as blood drained down my legs. The house was asleep and NOBODY knew what was going on or that I had even snuck out of the house and hid down the dark path that I knew.
.. wondering what that was and learning only after I embarked in my late teens, a few short years later after hearing the others chatters still while dressing in the bathroom to hide my bruised back and legs.
... telling people that my black eyes were that from playing basketball a sport that I never really learned until AFTER I joined the Air Force and gave birth to a son. If folks really paid any attention they would've known that.
.. thinking about how free I felt when I was alone.
everything is fine. just been remembering A LOT lately ..